remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize