Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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