are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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