Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
