She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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