I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize