WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
This baby is an asshole
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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