There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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