Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize