Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize