I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize