seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
