Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
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Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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