she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
