if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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