So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
