HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
