if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
