I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
