So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
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What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize