kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize