How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
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