So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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