Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
