I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
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She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
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I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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