It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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