office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
