tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize