omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
