Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think my moral compass just broke
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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