Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Terrible idea I love it
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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