Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
