I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
