I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize