goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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