There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
