You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
