Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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