I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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