No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
