Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
