So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
