I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
