every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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