If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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