Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
