Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize