I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
