it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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