We're like a lot better than the average bears
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
