True but thats because hes a fetus.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
