sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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