another moral hangover. fuck.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
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About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize