this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
