She said her name was "party"
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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