Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Randomize