I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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