1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Randomize
