I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
