So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
